There are two types of people in life, when it comes to road rage. The first group of road rage folks will scream and shout and throw things in their car. The second group of road ragers will harness all of their anger and wit before letting it out in a carefully designed note that they’ll stuff under their targets’ windshield wiper. We decided to focus on the second group because they tend to be way funnier. Listed below are some hilarious notes that people shoved into various windshields!
At first glance, I would say, “Aww a turtle, how cute.” But then I read the rest of the note and I’m like, “Oh…never mind.”
Parking Meme to the Rescue
So much can be said with so little…and this paper is the perfect example of that! What we have here at face value is a pretty self explanatory situation: someone used a classic meme to attack someone else’s parking. What we can infer from this situation is actually pretty deep. The fact that this person had a freshly printed meme at the ready, means that this is likely an ongoing issue. We’d like to imagine that the memes are gradually getting more and more severe as the parking jerk continues to ignore how they are making everyone mad by parking in the wrong spot.
LOLZ For Dayz
First of all, dogg, that’s hilarious. Second of all, he said thanks! I mean, if you’re going to write with paint on someone’s car and you’re going to say thanks at the same time, I can’t decide if you’re a genius of the exact opposite.
Ah, man. This person has SKILL. Everyone knows that the first Taken movie is utter perfection. Especially when Liam Neeson drops his famous line, shivers go down my spine every time. Well, credit to this person for perfecting the art to his own form. I applaud you, well done!
Please Don’t Rob Me
Alright, so we are going to break our premise on the very first list in the article — but for good reason! This person clearly knows that they are perfect targets to get robbed due to their broken window. So, in order to prevent so called ‘deviants’ from rifling through their car they left out this polite note. Deviants, limit yourself to one baby wipe please!
Helen Keller Deserves Better
This is the ultimate note of rage. This looks like it happened right outside of a hotel, and maybe that’s why this person got their discount hotel rooms via online hotel booking, but we’ll never know for sure. The person who left this note had to have been seething with rage but still more than capable of finding paint and leaving a witty bit of banter. We’ve never seen someone call out Helen Keller during a parking dispute, but it seems pretty on point here.
Learn To Park, Rich Dude
This note goes straight for the jugular as they instantly bring up their handicapped grandmother. The Blue BMW, who is allegedly rich, is purportedly taking up multiple prime spots in the parking lot. What if the letter writer had their handicapped grandmother over for a visit? Her death, presumably from the long walk, would surely be on his shoulders. So go take those parking lessons, you could save a life!
Spiderman Gets Involved
There is pretty much nothing worse than someone who willingly and clearly enjoys taking up multiple spaces in a crowded parking lot. Thankfully for the people of this neighborhood there is a certain spider themed super hero slinging around leaving zinger notes. We can practically feel the passive aggressiveness oozing off of this letter and we’re 100% sure it has nothing to do with Spiderman.
Caps Lock For Emphasis
Have you ever been so furious that you actually rounded the corner and acted completely jovial? This note, as evidenced by its brick lettering and all-caps letters, is the perfect representation of what we call ‘happy fury’. You are so angry that you just have to laugh. At least this person turned into a movie star out of the whole ordeal. Oh, wait, that was just sarcasm.
Jack is the sort of guy who looks for a hotel reservation online during a busy event only to cancel the booking at the latest possible date, leaving people without a room. We can’t argue against Jack’s efficiency when it comes to ducking a ticket but we have to shake our head at this very lame move. At least leave an email or a fake phone number! Leave at least a little hope for them to cling to.
Some Things Just Hurt To Read
We can laugh when we see tickets piling up on someone else’s car but we probably wouldn’t be quite so happy if it happened to us. Here a very heartbroken person pleads with the parking cops to stop pegging them for the same ticket, over and over. You can’t help but feel immediate pangs of sympathy as this person is clearly doing their best and still getting buried in debt.
Almost A Rhyme
Carly Rae Jepsen would be impressed? Ashamed? Who knows and who cares. This take on the pop song, Call Me Maybe, is just savage.
He’s The Hero We Need
At first glance we wondered why Optimus Prime would even care about poor parking jobs but then it hit us: they are robots shaped after cars. So when people make really lame attempts at parking their cars we are sure it grinds Optimus and his so called gears. Honestly, if we had written this note we are sure it would feature more of the Decepticons.
Short And To The Point
Sometimes you get so angry that you don’t want to waste time explaining why you are angry, because it simply makes you more mad. This note is so perfect and simply sums up the situation so well. There is no wiggle room here. You aren’t going to argue your way out of the point that this person is trying to make. Take an extra minute and park your darn car right, it’ll make everyone else in the area much happier as a result — and you won’t get notes like this on your windshield.
The Bottom Below Rock Bottom
We imagine that the owner of this car wrote this note while sitting in their dimly lit, one bedroom apartment. Maybe they are heating up a cheap frozen dinner while getting ready to wake up early in the morning for their crappy job. Even if the backstory is sad we can’t help but laugh at how they responded to someone breaking into their vehicle. “Thanks for checking anyway”. My sides are currently in orbit because of my laughter.
No Ticket Please
It’s a polite way to request a police officer to give you a second chance, but it clearly didn’t work here. If you find that your door is frozen shut then you had best figure out a way to get in. Cities thrive on parking tickets and they certainly aren’t going to pass up on the opportunity to get you one. Just don’t pour hot water into the seams as that will lead to more freezing. We’re sure smarter people than us can give you the advice that you need.
Corrine Goes For The Blood
There seems to be little in the way of positive outcomes for going toe to toe with a police officer that seemingly loves writing tickets. However, Corrine goes straight for the throat with her well written and factual note, telling the police officer to bugger off with his dismissed tickets. We wish that we had the courage. Instead we just get really annoyed, get a headache, and then search the internet for ways to vent our rage in peaceful ways. In other news, our apartment is filled with origami birds. We still have the parking tickets.
Let’s See How This Plays Out
You have two ways to react when you mess up royally. You can immediately cop to your mistake and try to make amends or you can double down (I.e. pull a Donald Trump) and blame the world for your failures. Now we’ll never know if the note writer in this picture is actually right or not but it is pretty gutsy to call out the other guy when you hit his or her parked car. Either way we’re impressed that he actually left his real phone number — assuming it is real, of course. Either way, this should lead to some fun popcorn.
Parking Jokes, Always Good
Sometimes you can say all you need to with just seven words. This note writer could have spent the better part of a paragraph ripping into this poor car parking fool, but instead they decided to land one well placed joke/savage cut down and they called it a day. Jokes are always awesome, especially when it comes to attacking jerks that don’t mind screwing up the parking lot for everyone around them. We’re impressed by the ability to write one note and walk away. We would have had to fill it with at least three jokes to make sure one landed correctly. Ah, well that is confidence for you.
Now, this is an example of an overly emotional dashboard note that makes no attempt at paring things down. Instead, our ‘hero’ Bob goes straight for the jugular by calling out this person for both their parking ability and their probably corresponding poor personality. Bob holds nothing back as he even hopes the parking jerk gets in an accident. That may have been too far, Bob. We’d opt for just an embarrassing drivers ed session with the local high school. That would probably put this self important jerk in their place, at least for a little bit.
The Parking Curse
Now we aren’t intrinsically superstitious people but even we have to grimace when we see someone lay an actual curse on another person. This person was apparently so enraged that they looked up different curses on the internet so that they could actually practice it on the target of their ire: a person who stole their parking spot. What makes this parking note our favorite of all time is the fact that it is scratched out on a notepad paper from St Jude Children’s Research Hospital. The hilarity here knows no bounds.
An Appeal To Us All
Listen, sometimes you have to go when you have to go. This person clearly hit one of those Red Alert moments where they had to choose between a wrecked pair of pants or a potential ticket. We are impressed that they had the time and foresight to actually put a note on their windshield. We are also of the mind that we wouldn’t want to be caught with this kind of note on our windshield. This actually makes us think of a pretty cool prank to pull…
The Facebook Button We All Want
Look!! Someone created the Facebook button we all want, finally! Then they took it to a new level and printed it out on a business card. Classy.
Send Me Their Number
Are you cringing at the incorrect use of their? Yeah, me too.
Just Use Whatever’s Handy
No paper? No problem. It’s a material thing when someone has taken your spot, paper is not the most important thing to consider. Plus, it’s like leaving your feminism right there.
Let’s Play A Game
I don’t like scary movies, at all, so I would poop myself if I saw this and run far, far away. Just think of the dedication and time it took this person to come up with all of these! Hats off to you good sir.
Think Of The Ice Cream
This note combines all of the things we don’t like: people with nicer cars than us, self important parking jobs, walking two extra blocks, and melted ice cream. Maybe the melted ice cream aspect will make a difference for Mr. Nissan Altima. We aren’t sure that it will, however, as no self respecting person would double park in a crowded neighborhood.
I just can’t even. As Kelso would say from That 70’s Show, “Burn!!!!” I do believe that sums it up.
Mickey Joins The Party
Mickey Mouse in his rebellion years has joined this party. And Mickey got some game cause this is just too darn funny.
Ohh! A nifty and crafty checklist on a business card? This person has some game. They are also used to people parking horribly cause there are a bunch of cards. This person is crazy prepared. Glass half empty kind of person, wouldn’t you say?